A HOT DATE!

• Oh, boy! A HOT date!!!
• This time from Mia... another SPAM-buddie to add to my little black book.
• "Hi, handsome man! How is your life?
• You have no idea how unbearable it is to sit here all alone! I dream of having sex with a stranger like you! I want to meet you online before seeing you in real life! I am dreaming to show yu my funny photos to wind you up! You can find me any time at the hot dating site. Enter my private chat, honey!
• I am waiting for you!
• With kisses,
• Mia"
• Wow! Now that's what I'm talkin' about! There's nothing like a Russian girl.
• And just in time, too.
• "Hi, Beautiful! Life is wonderful!
• It's 5:30 am. I woke up a half-hour ago - in more pain than my younger self ever imagined, but already the pain is subsiding. And I slept for SIX hours, without ever waking up to pee! The zinc is working.
• Now I'm looking in the mirror and I see a much thinner man - having lost all of half a pound this past month. Best of all, one of my man-boobs is shrinking. The other is on it's way out. My wife calls them "moob-ies". (But she's a nurse.)
• My hair is turning a nice silver color, too. And talk about rock-hard abs. Go ahead... punch me in the gut! I can hang.
• Of course, my memory fails me, but that's a minor thing. Sure, I forgot to take my heart pills last night. And I forgot to put in my teeth before answering the door, yesterday. So what? Gums are good. The "Happy Hooker" said to be creative. (Yes, I read that book. And I'm trying to think of a way to sneak past the cash register with the "Kama Sutra". I may be 62, but my imagination boils.)
• Look, Mia, I appreciate your email. I really do. You're irresistibly cute, and I'm sure you know how to make an old man happy. But I don't think you're ready for me, yet. Come back in 40 years. I'll be waiting. Where am I gonna go? And say 'Pryvet' to your Mom for me.
• Still warm in Dayton,
• Bob"