Dead Or Alive

 Well, it's the day I've long awaited - April 19.

 Long awaited because I didn't know if would live long enough to see this day.
Months ago I began having chest pains (angina), and I've gained a lot of
weight. I was concerned that I wouldn't be here to celebrate my 3rd New-Birth
Day. But here I am and I'm quite alive.

 Three years ago, on April 6, 2008, I fell victim to a Sudden Cardiac Arrest.
Not many will believe that I actually died and stayed dead for some time, but
it's true. On April the 19th, I was in the hospital intensive care unit and they
were getting ready to pull out my breathing tube (E.T. tube), thus disconnecting
me from my ventilator. The fear was that I would thrash around, unable to
breathe, and they wouldn't be able to reinsert the tube. Therefore, I would die.
I've always wondered if they liked me at all because they just went ahead and
pulled out the tube, anyway! The staff called this, "Pull and Pray". (Now
THAT's a confidence builder.)

 Well, long story short, God liked me more and made me breathe again. I remember
a moment of anguish and confusion (when the tube was out), and then a gasp, and
then I was breathing on my own. Alive again. I have named that day, my
New-Birth Day.

 I've heard that some are nearly silly with joy after such a miracle, while
others are simply grateful to be alive. And a few would rather be back in the
spiritual place in which they were, while in a coma.

 The reason I'm NOT feeling overjoyed is that there are so many 'survivors' who
remain in a coma or coma-like state. They may remain that way, totally disabled
and totally dependent upon the care of others. To make this even worse, family
members are among the others. It seems that more and more families are being
advised to disconnect the ventilator, or stop the tube-feeding, or just let the
pneumonia rage until the patient is dead.

 Well, if they don't agree to killing their loved one, then that loved one
likely will not be treated as a fully living person, ever again. We could say,
never again be treated as a full citizen.

 Medical decisions, made more for the convenience of the medical facility than
for the good of the patient, will likely keep this poor soul in such a disabled
state for months or years.

FINAL INSULT
may have horrible bedsores that open the flesh to the bone.

 Next, some doctor with the backing of the insurance company, will work at
making the family feel guilty for the suffering of their loved one. In other
words, it's the family's fault for not "letting the person go" much earlier.
This is the last, big attempt to get them to agree to euthanasia (legalized
killing). If not, then the facility will begin refusing to care for the patient,
and the family will have to take over the care at home - something that they can
almost never do.

 Well, I was in a coma but only for 13 days. After that, I was mentally disabled
for a month and a half due to the anoxic brain injury. Anoxic means that my
brain was deprived of oxygen for at least 15 minutes, while my heart was not
beating - starting at the moment of my cardiac arrest.

 Now, being something of a "miracle man" myself, I've been told that I should be
so happy to be alive. Well, I am... sort of.
Someone else said that I have "survivor's guilt". Well, I don't... not much.

 I'll tell you what it is. I feel OUTRAGED that so many of my fellow "survivors"
are being treated this way. I hope their families will agree to let me tell
their stories here on this site, so that you can hear, first-hand, about the
anguish that this is causing families all over this countr

 No doubt, some think that when the emergency crew arrived at my house and found
me on the floor after a Sudden Cardiac Arrest, with the near certainty of an
Anoxic Brain Injury, that they should not have tried to revive me, at all.
Rather, that they should have taken my body to the nearest hospital, covered it
with a sheet, and declared me, "Dead On Arrival".

 - - - - -

Originally published by me on Wed April 20, 2011

This article also appears on '- Surviving Cardiac Arrest - rturri'



2 comments:

Marty said...

    I am honored to know you.
    I am so glad you are here to write - including the fury.
    May 1, 2011 7:46 PM

Marty said...

    I hope you don't mind, but I posted a link to this post on my facebook page.
    It should be read.
    May 1, 2011 7:50 PM